Picking things apart
So ever since three weeks ago when I confronted my mom, I’ve had time to think about the things she said and process them and of course, pick them apart, notice the excuses. My brain is so good at that. It’s like I obsess over situations after they have happened and even before they happen,…
I talked to my mom about my abusive childhood
I didn’t think i’d be writing this blog post for a long while but today the perfect opportunity arose to talk to my mom about my childhood abuse and I did it. I didn’t say everything I could have, but I said a lot that i’ve wanted to say for so long, and to my…
The journey to healing
As I go to therapy and heal and have my eyes opened wide, I’m learning so much of what I am and everything I do is basically a trauma response. People pleasing, Agreeing to things to keep the peace, feeling responsible for others’ emotions even when the emotion has entirely nothing to do with me.…
Narcissistic mother
I want to continue off my previous blog of listing all the things I can remember my narcissistic mother doing to me, and others throughout my life, that I thought was so normal until I turned about 14. But the total realization I don’t think hit until 18 or 19. My mom loved to ask…
Toxic household
I can clearly remember the day that I started to clue into that my family wasn’t your “average” family. In 2006 we had moved up the street from my mom’s side of the family, my family that my mom had always said made her out to be the black sheep of the family. I see…
Hiding Abuse
Since I have been looking into trauma more and going to therapy and meeting and talking to so many others who have been through similar situations, I’m learning how common it is for families to swipe these things under the rug. How often people speak up and are silenced or after everything comes out they…
Flashbacks and Anger
This blog mentions multiple events of sexual, physical and emotional abuse. For 28 years, up until last year, I thought that other than my sexual abuse, that my childhood was pretty typical. Until September 2020 when I had my first therapy session and started opening up and learned that it was in multiple ways abusive,…
The Beginning Of It All
I’m going to start by saying that I talk a lot about childhood sexual and physical abuse in this blog. My story starts with me only having memories from age maybe 5 or 6 and up. And even still, it’s scattered until I hit middle school. I remember playing alone a lot as a small…
My Little Introduction
Hello, welcome to my first blog! I’m super excited to start this new journey in blogging and letting this be a positive outlet and another way to help me heal, and if that helps anyone along the way, that would be amazing. I’m a 29 year old mom of two, married to a wonderful man…
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Childhood Trauma Mama 